Bjorn's Beard Redefined

Bjorn's Beard Redefined

How long does it take to grow a beard? It's a question I've been asked many times and have never been able to answer. This is my non-scientific account of the growing and raising of a proper beard.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

My life behind the beard

I grew my first beard while I was still in high school.  I grew it because I was playing Malachi Stack, a drunkard and con man, in the school's fall play, The Matchmaker (the non-musical version of Hello, Dolly!).  I figured I should look a bit scruffy, and the year before when I played Teddy Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace, I realized how much of a pain spirit gum can be.  So, much to the chagrin of my mother, I started my beard -- and kept it through the entire school year and following summer.  I didn't shave it until mid-September '83, a week before I left for boot camp. 

The Marines won't let you have a beard, but after boot camp, I could have a mustache.  While I was home on leave, I started mine and by mid-January of '84, I had a bit of facial hair again. 

Marine mustaches are minimalistic affairs -- you have to maintain a perimeter between your nose and the top of the 'stache, your lip and the bottom of it, and it can't extend over the corners of your lips.  I did my best to keep it in regs with only one gig ever (didn't have enough distance between the lip and the 'stache). 

In July of '86, I shaved the 'stache off, and it wouldn't come off again for 25 more years.  As I said in my previous post, I was getting ready for a promotion board, and while I was trimming it, I slipped and too out a big divot.  After looking at it for a moment, I realized there was no hope in saving it, and it came off.  If I would have gotten the promotion, it might have been worth it.

After I got out of the Corps, I had a few months before I left for school.  During this time, I took a job with Holiday Station Stores, and at the time, they had a 'no-beard' policy.  So, while I worked there, I kept just the 'stache, but I let it go a bit wild.  With no more inspections to worry about, I let it go a bit nuts.  As soon as I quit, though, I started the beard again -- that occurred in late December of '87. 

I moved up to Grand Forks in January of '88 to attend the University of North Dakota, and started looking for a part time job to support me.  It was a rough time in the economy, and it wasn't until I was on interview number 57 that I heard "you're hired."  I became a dishwasher for Perkins, a great family restaurant.  I didn't care where I was working -- I just wanted a job.  The one problem?  Yeah, I had to shave the beard.  So, on the last Sunday of my first Spring Break, I shaved it off.  I did it right before I went to bed -- and the next morning, having forgotten what I had done the night before, I say myself in the mirror and screamed!

I still laugh about that.

I worked for Perkins until late May, at which point I got a different job -- I worked as a door-to-door salesman.  I didn't do so well -- ended up quitting after about a month, though I had a different job by then -- working for Valley Dairy -- a convenience store company in Grand Forks and East Grand Forks.  I worked there for about three years during the school year -- and the best part -- I didn't have to shave!

Somewhere about this time, I decided that if I had a job that required me to shave, well, I just didn't need that job.  So, from May of '88 until 7 Aug 2011, I always had a beard.

When I lived in Norway, I had my first "Big Beard," where I went six months without doing more than minor trims to it.  For about four years, I had just a goatee -- I was also shaving my head at the time because my wife thought it looked sexy.  The things we do for love.  Heh.  But, after Crystal died, I decided I'd never shave my head again, and kept my beard fairly trimmed.

It wasn't until I went back to Norway in November of 2004 that I remembered why I had the big beard.  It was just a lot of fun!  I spent a few days with one of my teachers and friends, Oyvind, and we looked through the photo albums from that year.  It took a bit longer, but, by May of 2005, the big beard was on it's way back.

I'm much better suited to having a beard, I think.  That's why it's comin' back.

No comments:

Post a Comment